Hi, I'm g-d's punch line and you are...

I take that car in to the shop for its quarterly check and get the fluids & filters changed, that’s okay, perfectly normal. And get the front brakes replaced, annoying but fine. And needing to change the burnt-out light on my driver’s console. That’s going to far -- Yeah in theory the console has to be lit by something, but really, do you know anyone who needed to replace their lights on their console. Be honest.

That is not the punch line though.

The punch line is that I’m driving home from work and I blow a freaking tire the same day, and not the one that already has a slow leak. It is the one on the other side of the car.

Ha, ha, ha, Mr. Funny-Deity got jokes. Is there some cosmic rule that tires must blow out in the rain. Because I can’t remember a time where this has happened and the weather was sunny and warm with a light breeze in the afternoon on level pavement. No it’s always after dark in the rain, and in the most inconvenient place. Sure I was prepared, when you are g-ds chosen people it pays to plan ahead. You never know when he is going to have a moment of his special kind of wit.

See, my relationship with g-d, is like that one exasperating friend that everybody has. The one you can’t take anywhere for fear that he may and inevitably will cause some kind of scene that ends with the final words of the night being, “Turn to your right, no, your other right”. You love him, and you know that he’ll always have your back but some times you just want to grab him by the lapels and bitch-slap his anthropomorphic ass up and down the street. But you count to 10 and in a near-calm voice explain to him again that yes, you’ll always have his back but he really needs to stop pulling shit like this. Sure we all thought it was funny turning Job’s wife into a saltlick, that’s just good physical humour, but sometimes he takes to far. You laugh it off and go for a drink. But you know it’ll happen again and you know that you will do the same damn thing that you did this time, because he’s your crew and it is the right thing to do.