I am going to be that crazy old man...

It's already beginning to happen with the odd yet endearing
colloquialisms.

I was in a meeting and felt the my voice was being ignored by the
rest of the group. My inside-voice said, "People, I feel that we are
getting off topic with this random banter." Unfortunately, my outside-
voice misheard my inside-voice and instead said, "Oy, Chuckleheads,
What am I doing here? I feel like I'm playing a kazoo against a
marching band. Focus people"

It took a couple of moments, and with a slightly confused
understanding they all focused their attention. Upside it worked,
down side is that they probably only heard every fifth word I said
after that as they were trying worked out what I had just said earlier.

I think I figured it out...

You see these cartoons with the anthropomorphised ideas of right and wrong siting each shoulder of the character. The cross-dressing goody-goody angel on the right and the leotard wearing, pitchfork fetishist devil on the left. Right? Right.

I've never been able to relate to the specific casting of these roles, but I do like the idea of it. So after some thought I've figured out how I'm going to recast this... would you call it a "metaphysical consultive team"?

On the right, Henry Rollins, as the cautiously optimist cynic and on the left, Denis Leary, as cynical pessimist. So no matter which advise I... advise my self of, someone is going to be getting the ass handed to them.

I think this could work.

Riddle me this...

In a city renowned for its rainfall, why is it that the majority of
its inhabitants either refuse to use, or do not own an umbrella? is
it some sort of regional hubris?

Some theories you should keep to your self...

In one of my more lucid moments I think I've come up with a new
addition to supplement my existing standards for finding Mrs. Right.
For those of you new to this, the current standards includes such
criteria as:

• "Can not be a Psychologist, Psychology Major, or generally anything that relates to the a fore mentioned fields of study."


• "Their mental stability must be equal, or greater then my own."


• "Does not want cause grievous bodily harm to any of my friends or family."


• "My friends & family do not want to cause grievous bodily harm to the candidate in question."


• and so on.

The new criteria might be:

• "Must be able to imagine that if the candidate in question had a theme song, it would be Joan Jett & the Blackhearts' cover of 'Love is All Around [the theme to The Mary Tyler Moore Show].'"

Yeah, now you know why criteria #2 is there. But the logic does make
a sort-of-sense. I can apply this to all the women who are dear to me
in my life and it works every time.

Whether or not I add this to the list I'm not sure. Part of me thinks
that it might be just a tad "unreasonable."

Better to be bright & clever then smart & brilliant...

I'm beginning to believe that for an artist, it is better to be
bright & clever rather then smart & brilliant. With the former, there
is a certain lucidity of abstract thought that the later doesn't
allow for.

Square and not the good kind...

I was listening to the 80's station when Huey Lewis & The News' "Hip to be Square" started playing... and I was able to relate to it. It's retched. Brain the size of a planet and I'm driving a beige Toyota to Suburbia everyday. G-d I'm so depressed.